AWESOME comedic writing... this is exactly the sort of straight-faced reporting style that works so well on sites like The Onion. If it was about a subject other than anarchism, I could totally see this being on there.
I think you have a talent for this. Just out of curiosity, have you taken any steps to try and monetize your skill in this area?
Freedomain Radio - referred to simply as “FDR” by cult members,
similarly to the way that the National Socialist Party of Germany was
referred to colloquially as the “Nazi” party by members
Haha. Nazis: the best (worst) way to win an argument about anything, ever.