Freedomain Radio

A special report:

Vicious anarchists prowl the internet, using subliminal messages and psychological tricks to undermine family relationships and to destroy civilized society. Some say that this diabolical conspiracy is responsible for the sub-prime mortgage meltdown, 9/11, the end of Christmas, the cancellation of Firefly and global warming.

Canadian podcaster Stefan Molyneux has reportedly been responsible for producing more than 1,000 podcasts consisting largely of anti-family and anti-government propaganda. He has been personally responsible for the destruction of more than a dozen families. Broadcasting from his suburban hideout in the wilderness of Canada, he targets the young and impressionable, using Web 2.0 technology to subvert their weak and pliant brains.

“Molyneux caused the death of Pope John Paul II,” said an anonymous source. When asked why he wanted his identity shielded, the source said “I am afraid of him. If I were to say everything I know, he might use his psychic abilities to crush my pancreas. What do you think happened to the last Pope?”

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My transmission was cut short by a mysterious hacker. You'll have to read the rest on my blog. Do it quickly. People who cross Molyneux rarely live for very long afterwards.

Hahaha! Brilliant as always, JC.

I love Fallen Monarchs also.

Broadcasting from his suburban hideout in the wilderness of Canada,

Shouldn't that read "fortified compound" ?

Thanks for the laugh JC, you are one hell of a funny writer...

Brilliant.

FDR: Crushing pancreases since 2005.

Way too funny!! Hahaha

lol @ cancellation of Firefly!!

Hilaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarious, JC.

AWESOME comedic writing... this is exactly the sort of straight-faced reporting style that works so well on sites like The Onion. If it was about a subject other than anarchism, I could totally see this being on there.

I think you have a talent for this.  Just out of curiosity, have you taken any steps to try and monetize your skill in this area?

Freedomain Radio - referred to simply as “FDR” by cult members, similarly to the way that the National Socialist Party of Germany was referred to colloquially as the “Nazi” party by members

Haha.  Nazis: the best (worst) way to win an argument about anything, ever.

Thanks guys!

Comedy? No, I haven't given it a shot professionally, but I do write for a living.